| Goals |
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| 10:15am 22/09/2006 |
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mood:  curious
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A few things I want to accomplish:
1. Figure out how to dance in 10/4 and 9/8 time signatures.
2. Strenghten my ab muscles for much better floorwork.
3. Figure out that crazy drop to the floor.
4. Win Hips of Fury (That's right. We're ready!) :)
5. Lose 15 pounds
6. Find (and move into) that wacky apartment
7. Get the job at Pageant of the Masters.
8. Wash my car. For the love of god.
9. Order the business cards
10. Get the Ban-dál website up and running. |
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| ???? |
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| 03:36pm 10/08/2006 |
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maybe no GWW????!
What the shit! The horror... |
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| 09:55pm 24/07/2006 |
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mood:  calm
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I bought a new bathing suit today.
I will be happy when that activity is actually an exciting one.
But for now, I have a sassy suit nonetheless.... |
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| I'm back! |
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| 01:01pm 09/04/2006 |
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mood: my foot's asleep...
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But not for long...
[this update is truly only happening because i have a deaf cat sound asleep on my lap and I can't move..]
Our dance show went really really well. It was so crowded that we barely had enough room to dance (well, less room than even we anticipated!) everyone loved it1 I'm still getting phone calls about it and I'm really proud of us. Now on to planning the next one..
I'm mainly really proud of us because we put on a show when ordinarily we wouldn't even be seeing each other, and we pulled it off successfully. And we are to the point that if we forget choreography, we fit it together with improv. and that rocks. and we rule at thriller.
So I am technically on "vacation" which means working every day and desperately trying to catch up on my school stuff. I'm trying to get ahead on the bitch work stuff so that I can spend more time on my designs. I have three shows to design on top of all my other projects, and I just signed up to be one of the co-designers for a show my school is trying to put up in 2 weeks.
despite all this stuff to do, I am desperately bored with my life. I dont do anything anymore. I don't remember the last time my phone rang and it was somebody wanting to talk to me or hang out. i dont remember the last time i was able to do the same. I go to school all the time. and work all the time. and it's making me crazy. And the worst part is, as soon as I graduate in may i will have all this time and probably have absolutely nothing to do because everyone has grown so accustomed to me not being around.
pity party? little bit. however i have been SO GOOD this weekend and have gotten so much accomplished. for that i deserve a big, fatty martini:)
xo |
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| 12:25am 07/03/2006 |
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mood:  sad
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I'm seriously heart broken right now you guys.
My cul-de-sac has always had a lot of outdoor cats, right now there's about 5. And I've always known they had homes to return to, because I've seen them do it with the neighbors.
But there is this one cat, who is white with brown and gray spots, absolutely beautiful. And big, I think it's a boy- this cat is always in our backyard (the other ones are usually on our front lawn), getting cosy with the patio furniture. Always there. And when it's cold, or it's rainy, he's always scrunched up as small as he can get on our doormat where it's somewhat warm. And he's so friendly, cries and cries for attention and it seriously breaks my heart. This cat, if it has a home, should not be out there in the rain, always in our yard looking desperately for attention and warmth.
I want to feed him, but if he's someone else's cat I can't do that. And I want to let him inside, but I have 4 cats who could get sick if he is sick at all. :( I'm so sad!!!
He's so pathetic on my porch right now and I seriously want to cry and let him in... |
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| 09:47pm 27/02/2006 |
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mood:  exhausted
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so sleepy...
sooo sooo sleepy... and still at school :( |
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| I'm home! |
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| 12:35pm 21/02/2006 |
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mood:  complacent
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You know, Estrella has always been my favorite war. With the exception of last year, every Estrella has been so much fun, drama free, and I absolutely love it. This weekend was the best one yet, and I never stopped moving!
I never thought I'd say it, but I think I may have danced TOO much. My hips hurt like an old lady! But I am soooo happy that we did dance as much as we did, that I did finally teach the class, that Liz and I busked our little tassel asses around merchant's row and the Queen's Tea, and that all the singing went extremely well.. Her Majesty shushed a guy when we were dancing and that rocks! She loved the hip wrap I made for her also:)
NOW! I'm back to school (groan), I am finishing my portfolio for my grad school interview on Thursday morning (finally), I managed to get along fine with Nate and actually be okay with seeing him all weekend, and actually, it was nice. Though he made no attempt to actually hang out, (and we're friends?) it was still nice to be able to talk to him and hug him and not be sad. YAY! It's looking up I guess.. I guess Crown and the next War will just get easier and easier...
So I was about to blow this guy off from work, but he's been trying to get ahold of me all weekend and so we are going out Wed. night. Me on a date?? But I'm not going to put too much thought into it (if I can). And it is far from a rebound now, but it wouldn't hurt to get my mind away from my sca-ex... |
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| let's review... shall we? |
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| 11:55am 07/02/2006 |
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mood:  tired
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It's only, oh 2 1/2 weeks into spring semester...
am I really this stressed out, already?!
And I'm already tired. Whee! |
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| If you are MALE, or you know one pass it to him. |
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| 11:11pm 04/02/2006 |
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mood: confused
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Then listen up.
If you are into a girl, these little games you like to play- hot and cold, hot and cold-- not a good idea. It is fucking aggravating and it isn't going to get you any fucking closer.
And the little mind games, not so good either. Don't act one way, wait for us to call, and then act like WE avoided YOU. Or like nothing happened, when in reality you are waiting for it to happen again.
If you like her, then TELL her.
FUCKING STOP IT. and grow up.
Thanks:) |
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| better late then never... |
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| 08:58pm 30/01/2006 |
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So I thought a recap was necessary, since I've been utterly an emotional trainwreck on here lately, and I thought a happy post would be needed..
So.
Saturday was Unbelted. And honestly, I almost didn't go. and when I got there, the morning was a disaster and I seriously almost turned around and went back to bed. I was expecting the worst, and surprisingly enough, the day went well...
Opening court I received my Harp! :):):) SOOO surprised! And I got it at the same time as Liz, which was awesome and I'm proud of us. I don't think either of us were ever expecting something like that. This of course means that our performances at Estrella War, i.e. stage time on saturday, dancing at royal on saturday, queen's tea on sunday, pretty much need to go damn well! yay. We have been working really hard and got over half of the second Q.T. choreography finished today in an hour. we rule, that's why...
And then, I was sent roses by *him*, forcing me to compose myself and talk to him. And you know what? I think (for now) I got the emotional, sobbing, hurt Abby out of me and who knows, maybe one day we will be friends again. maybe more. but it is going to be up to him to get me to regain the trust that be broke so painfully a month ago. And at first, I was really resentful. This was Unbelted, he was supposed to be wearing MY favor, we were supposed to be together. He apparently DID fight for me all day, favor or not. So, we'll see.. at least I got my closure. I think..
*** On another note, school has started, and I of course am going to be super busy. I have become that person who forgets things if I don't write down my day hour by hour (that's ok, i have a big calendar), but so far so good. I am getting a little panicked about my grad school interview, and now am going to devote the next month of my life to pulling a portfolio directly from my ass and finish all of my renderings and half scales that are in a pile in my closet. oh yeah, and estrella, and vegas, and our dance performances, and our dance show prep, and you know, school.
*sigh* oh man, there is a reason i drink....
xoxoxo |
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| well, this is odd... |
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| 09:40pm 22/01/2006 |
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mood: sick
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I'm finding that I am scheduling my life for the next four months straight, by the hour, by the week.
Maybe I'm just desperate to keep myself busy so that I don't worry myself or think myself into sickness.
Dancing has become once again a huge priority in my life, and I think that it finally is becoming a permanent activity in my life. and I love that. I am determined to not let it get shoved aside just because I am in school or because I am at work.
So.
Here comes Estrella War, in which we will dance drunkily every night to keep warm (yay.) and I will be teaching tribal combinations sat 1-3, taking stage time for both cu buidhe and Ban-dál on Saturday at at the Queen's Tea.
Then comes April, where Ban-dál is having our 2nd dance show Apr. 2, and I am teaching a class at Collegium.
Then it will be Potrero War, and summer, and probably another dance show. YAY.
My new job is SO much better than I could have ever asked for. And school starts Wednesday, I am depressed about this, but actually looking forward to having only one more semester until I graduate college. And for that, I am a happy clam.. |
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| I decided to update... I have neglected lj far too long |
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| 10:21am 12/10/2005 |
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mood: content
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Well, I am constantly behind at school, I am way too over extended, I am constantly trying to please my teachers, the costume shop manager, my costume teacher who will determine my fate as a grad student (IF I am accepted), my job, my family... But hell I couldn't be happier!
I had a WONDERFUL war. It was by the far one of the most relaxing and I think enjoyable weekends I have spent so far in the SCA. What's crazy is all that's changed. Five months ago I would have feared independence at war, would have feared wandering off alone, would have been afraid of meeting new people, and as a result may never have met the person who just thinking about him makes me extremely happy.
Dancing makes me so happy.. I'm glad to see that it's survived this long and will hopefully get better! Everyone is starting to catch their ground and feel confident and everyone is looking beautiful out there! MUST DANCE MORE!!!
PS. my scimitar RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to play with it...
I don't know, I'm just rambling... but I'm happy. And it's been so long.
xo |
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| 08:22am 12/09/2005 |
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*sigh*
whatever. im tired of trying to figure you out. |
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| 01:32am 28/08/2005 |
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mood: bitchy. extremely bitchy.
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I'm really feeling incredibly bitchy and emotional tonight.
work is pissing me off. they claim that they want to know, but they do not listen. they double schedule me 7 days this week when i can only work 3 since i have school for 5 of them and im going out of town this weekend.
and my only day off tomorrow? well surprise, i have to floorwalk for a 9 hr shift and i don't get to have breakfast with ray and im really sad about this.
and im really on my last nerve with champps.
and really, i could go awhile without getting up at 5:30 for school tomorrow.
fuck. |
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| red red wine.. |
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| 01:27am 04/08/2005 |
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mood: sleepy
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felt the need to update.
It's 1:30, I really should be sleeping. I always do this, I stay up all night thinking about all of the things I want to accomplish the next morning, then by the time my alarm goes off I am simply too exhausted to wake up and get anything done. This will probably be the case tomorrow morning.
Been working out and dancign a lot lately- today alone I worked the lunch shift, worked out for an hour, and danced for about 4 hrs. My ass is either going to feel amazing tomorrow, or I am going to be sad sad sad.
I can't wait for the show Aug.21st, I'm really proud of us for doing this.
Work is steady, I'm there all the time as usual. But really, I have nothing better to do with my time and the extra cash justifies the amount of money I like to spend on everything else (mainly martinis and clothes:)..) Our "group" no longer hangs out- I can't decide if my pushing Ashley to change things is going to fix everything or drive us farther apart. I don't know how long I can wait for her boyfriend to grow up and for her to realize that she deserves so much more than she realizes when it comes to living her life. She doesn't seem happy. If she is, I couldn't tell since I don't ever see her anymore unless we're dancing. That really makes me so sad.
I really really want to go to the beach this weekend. It's painful how much I want to. Maybe i'll go down to laguna alone on saturday and lay out and read some harry potter.
I still need a little excitement. Now would be nice.. |
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| aghaghghag! |
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| 10:33pm 28/04/2005 |
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I'm confused!
This always seems to happen to me.... |
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| 10:10am 25/04/2005 |
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Ah, now I don't hardly know him
But I think I could love him
Crimson and clover |
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| ..... |
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| 10:01am 24/04/2005 |
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mood:  blah
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someone should make me a cupcake. |
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| stop looking at me |
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| 11:02pm 17/04/2005 |
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mood: hopeful
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It's a day of good news and bad news...
Case 1:
BAD news... I spent the entire day working for my beast of a gm and I hated my life and my job the entire time I was there (approx. 6 hrs). This came with a realization that I hate hate hate being THAT PERSON who complains about her job, and dammit, when I finish this semester SOMETHING is going to change!
GOOD news... Juan (the GM from Javier's) called me said they are looking for an on-call cocktail waitress, but knew that this probably wouldn't work for me while I am in school and working 5 shifts at Champps, but he didn't want me to think he wasn't thinking of me and I'm the first one he is going to call when they hire a new cocktail for the summer. YAY!!!!
Case 2:
GOOD news... I emailed my comp applications for theatre teacher to tell him that I would be missing class again on monday for work, and asked if he could email me the assignment that is due on wednesday. His response was, "you are so lucky that you're cute." HA! ah, the joys of theatre....
BAD news... I do not have Microsoft Publisher on my computer. Damn.
Case 3:
GOOD news... Ash and I almost finished the second half of Sex and the City Season 6- so exciting!!!!
BAD news... Sex and the City all of a sudden is sooo depressing!
This day began so shitty, but I am SO EXCITED that Juan called me. My summer (and my life) has new hope, and for this I am glad. Time to watch tv. xoxoxo |
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| it's good to be me right now |
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| 09:36am 07/04/2005 |
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mood: jubilant
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I just got really excited about what it is that I do.
I play in the SCA which has brought me a lot of wonderful people to spend time with, and gave me a big family like I always wanted.
I am a costume design major for theatre at CSULB and I am so excited about the shows I am designing and am actually feeling pretty damn creative lately.
The most important one of all: I am a tribal bellydancer and after 3 years of searching, we have finally formed a troupe of dancers and found a semi-local teacher to dance with weekly! There is nothing better than the feeling of how insync we get and how self-assurred and fabulous we feel when we do it. Plus my teacher dances with fire-dancers, and she's going to hook me up. yay!
this feeling surged about 5 seconds ago, fyi.
don't you make fun of me
i'm gonna be
i'm gonna be
i'm gonna be a hot dancer! |
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